Well, as you all can see, I’ve finally managed to get my site hosting back up and running. It feels good, it really does.
And although my site was dormant for about a year, I was not. I’ve really grown spiritually and personally over the past twelve months, and I spent much of my mental time trying to figure out how those internal changes would impact my writing.
For a start, I think a change in tone is in order. Looking back at my writing, I can see that, while I’ve always been drawn to the theme of good versus evil and the eventual triumph of good over evil, it was apparent from my tone that evil, nonetheless, held a certain degree of fascination for me. That has to go.
And speaking of theme, my preferred theme of the defeat of evil was not as apparent as I feel it ought to be in my writing. I was trying too hard to appeal to the darker side of a reader’s nature in an attempt to draw it out and play with it. That’s arrogant and foolish; and that stops,too.
I also feel that, whether it was noticed or not, I have been extremely arrogant in my dealings with all of you. I was ruled by a pridefulness that was as insidious as it was insulting. I knew it was there, but I had no idea how big it was or how much damage it was doing to so many personal and professional relationships, and all I can say is that I’m very sorry.
All things considered, I have conducted myself in a very unprofessional manner, making promises to other writers when they’ve asked for help and not following through being a particular vice. I was not good to people, truly, and that also stops.
I was writing to fulfill a need within myself – to remedy a perceived lack within. I was writing because I wanted to be praised for creating something new, and whenever I received that praise I reveled in it.
That’s horrible conduct and a poor reason to do anything. It’s a selfish motive, and I acted like a real jerk at times.
I don’t want my writing to be for self-aggrandizement anymore. It’s not about me, and it never should have been in the first place. I want all of my writing from now on to be inspired by and point toward God.
I am mindful that this may cost me some of the support that I’ve enjoyed over the past several years. I hope it doesn’t, but that’s being a little unrealistic, I think. Well, it will be what it will be. I hope that you all will stick with me and give this a chance.
Thank you so much, all of you, for all of your support over the years. I hope you won’t feel it was in vain.