Monthly Archives: August 2010

Ideas to make Alpheus more interactive

Hello, Alpheans!

The traffic on Alpheus has really been picking up lately, and I can’t thank you enough! With all the traffic, I’d really love to see a lot more comments on the posts and pages. I know that most of you prefer replying to me directly, and I do like all the feedback that I get. But I would be willing to sacrifice that to have a more robust flow of conversation, a real feeling of community here on Alpheus.

To help generate some of this interactive communication, I’m toying with the idea of some sort of contest. Maybe a contest where y’all supply story ideas and I pick a winner from the group for the best story idea or the idea that would fit the storyline best. I’m not sure what an appropriate prize might be, but y’all can chime in and make suggestions about that, too. Just talk about it HERE, or it doesn’t count. 🙂

So, how does that sound?


Slight reorganization and a new page (with more to follow)

Hello, Alpheans!

I’ve noticed some confused looks on some faces when I call the site “Alpheus, the Underground Stream”. I decided that I would try to rectify that by providing some material about the allegorical reference and its significance to the Mortality, Interrupted story.

Some of you who have read the article “Realm of the Ring Lords” by Laurence Gardner on this site might recall noticing that there was a reference to it there. But apart from that brief mention, there is no real explanation anywhere.

To address that, I’ve created a new “WHAT IS ALPHEUS, THE UNDERGROUND STREAM” section on the website. It’s in the menu on the left-hand side below the “WEBSITE ESSENTIALS” section. I then wrote a new page with an explanation of the allegory, how it came to be applied, and why it’s significant to the Mortality, Interrupted story. Then, I moved the “Realm of the Ring Lords” article to the same section and grouped it below the new page.

Hopefully, that should get things started and make things easier to understand. As I find more relevant articles that fit the theme, I’ll post them in this section.


Link to new Ch5/Sc1

Hello Alpheans,

I was so tired when I posted last night (every thought required extreme effort) that I forgot to put a link in the post for those of you who are subscribers and don’t actually visit the site (although you might want to visit the actual site. It’s kinda cool. 🙂 ). At any rate, here’s the link:  Chapter 5 – Scene One.

NEW Chapter 5 – Scene One!

Hello, Alpheans!

Hello all. I’m exhausted so this will be short.

Chapter 5 – Scene One. New. Not the same as the old. Moving that old scene somewhere else.

I hope you like it.

More from The Jezebel Diaries…

Hello, Alpheans!

I always said that I would post more from ‘The Jezebel Diaries’ if I received enough requests for it. Last night I had a request from a new Alphean and I think that’s enough to call it a consensus. I really appreciate the interest. I hesitated to post it because, despite some writing that I’m quite proud of, I think that on the whole it shows a lack of cohesiveness and some amateurish storytelling, with a meandering plot. I didn’t yet know (though I soon realized) how challenging it would be to write a novel from only the central character’s viewpoint and restricted to a very limited setting. It was like choosing to duplicate the genius of Alfred Hitchcock’s ‘Lifeboat’ as my very first project. What is it they say? That fools walk where angels fear to tread?

But, for those who want to know the more ‘traditionally vampiric’ roots of the ‘Mortality, Interrupted’ story, this is it. All six chapters I wrote are here, and the same password I have given out for ‘Mortality, Interrupted’ will unlock the pages for ‘The Jezebel Diaries’. I sincerely hope you enjoy it.

All pretty…

Just a quick note to let everyone know that I’ve finished formatting the new scene for the web. Also, I decided to split the scene in two (as you probably noticed), putting the split at the change of setting from Várfalva to the orphanage. That should cut down on the length and also provide a logical break. Let me know if that helps it read better.

It’s hard to know (or feel certain) how a story will come off the page from the reader’s perspective when you’re the one who wrote it. Your impressions and insights are worth gold to me, so please don’t hold back.

Thanks a million. Y’all rock!

Chapter 4 draft beaten into submission

Hello Alpheans,

Just finished the reconstruction of Chapter 4. It needs formatting before I can post it here, but I’m exhausted. I can’t even tell if what I wrote is any good, I’m so tired. Okay, how about this? I’ll post it “as is” without formatting and if you want to read it unformatted and let me know what you think, that would be great. Here’s the link. I’ll format it after I wake up, so if it’s a little tough to get through, don’t worry. I’ll fix it before the end of the day.

Thanks! Y’all really keep me going!

I feel one of my turns coming on…

[It’s a bit of hyperbole, perhaps, but I do love that line from Pink Floyd’s ‘The Wall’.]

But y’all know how I put that plot turn at the end of Chapter 4 where Eva makes a shocking choice? (I’m trying not to turn this into a spoiler.) Well, after a great deal of agonizing (and some excellent advice from one of the first ‘Alpheans’) I’ve decided to backtrack. It was a great plot turn (and it felt so gratifying to write that into the story), but it just takes the story into a direction it shouldn’t go. I would end up having to treat a minor character as a major character and in the original outline she isn’t accounted for at all. There’s no good reason plot-wise to have her end up in the story at that point, so I’m going to have to bite the bullet and re-write that scene. I’m not sure whether I should do it now or whether I should start writing new material. Any advice from the Alpheans out there?

Chapter 1 – Scene Three is now edited – New Chapter One draft finished!

Hello, Alpheans!

I just finished editing Chapter 1 – Scene Three which finishes this round of editing for Chapter One. There is also a slight edit for Chapter Two – Scene Three, as I decided to move a bit of the mob’s singing from Chapter 1 to Chapter 2. I think that will tie the continuity together a bit better and keep the song lyrics in Chapter 1 from becoming too tedious.

I incorporated quite a few edits here. I kept the name changes consistent. (If I missed any, do let me know.) A lot of feedback I received over the past few months was implemented and I came up with a few on my own. This is definitely not the last edit by a long shot. This is just to “repair the draft” if you will. The “real” edits come later after I finish the draft entirely. But this will get me back on track with the storyline, hopefully.

Let me know if you think I improved it!

Chapter 1 – Scene One EDITED!

Hello, Alpheans!

I finished the editing work for Chapter 1 – Scene One and now it’s posted. There are minor name changes, some small edits in dialogue, and I’ve extended it to make a better lead in for the new Chapter One – Scene Two. Next, I’ll make sure that Scene Three meshes well with Scene two and matches the edited version of Scene One here. Be sure to tell me what y’all think!